meanies should die

Project Management class two hours from now. I thought I'd write about the entire week that just happened and rant about it:

I hate the slightest condescension from anyone. People can be clueless that they're obsessing on every possible encomium they decorate themselves with. It's paltry and pathetic. The slightest air and I'm irritated, almost wanting to pluck their eyes out. I've been with such people lately.

Second musing. This one's a give away. Why the hell would cellphones have foul mouths? You shoo away people then you wonder why they hate you. Puerile. I am patient when it comes to friends. But smiling the next day after a fight usually freaks me out. Don't for a second think that the entire world needs you, that people beg for some favors from you, That you are being used or whatever.

Third. It just gets too strong sometimes, that same anxiety I had back in high school. The same search for a comfortable place. Good people are indeed rare. I had a hard time liking it here during the first 2 years of college. I hated most people I met. Now, I found good ones. I'm off to a new road in a few months. I feel that I've built those ties too late.

Fourth. It's hard to find a decent person to talk to. I know it takes time for bonds to get strong. But it just seems to impossible no matter how I try to reach out. I am a part-time introvert but I try anyway. And I'm beginning to get tired. Really tired.

Maybe 20 does something to everyone. You've worn a mask for so long that you just can't take it off. I don't feel isolated anymore. It's just that I can't climb those high walls that some of these people I really get to like have built around them.

...

Philo class was super this afternoon. I can listen to Father David non-stop for hours. He talked about how power shapes/controls individuals; that we are in prison ultimately because we unconsciously think we should behave, think, etc, etc, in certain ways prescribed by the powers-that-be. That's why Psychology seems so powerful because we find it crucial for explaining ourselves and the world. It determines what should be.

Hearing him talk about everything else is way more profound that summarizing major points in these gaudy lines.