Friday, March 31, 2006

the house is half-empty

No, this is not about pessimism- I'm not even sure if I get that right. They're emptying the house once again. I thought the ones they moved to the other house last year were the last. I was apparently mistaken. Yesterday, they moved the dining table and my cabinet. I have used them since I can remember, now they’re gone. They got me a new one, a cold metal cabinet. They still haven’t bought a new dining table. It doesn’t feel like I’m home anymore, I feel like a dormer. It was awkward enough to walk into a vacant space. Calling it a living room seems absurd even with the T.V. on. The house seems bigger though.

Prospects on getting out of the country are bleak, I guess. That leaves me looking for work. I should earn my allowance for the next school year come this June. Independence day (read Aguinaldo’s June 12) comes after the First Salary.

On other news, Graduation happened last Friday (March 24). The speeches were too expected to get into me. MVP made it a point that half the graduates would nod to sleep after his speech. He was successful on that part though. I didn’t doze, I was counting how many companies he mentioned he owns. I was half-priming to get all cathartic before the graduation. It didn’t happen though. I was at a lost getting out of the mob, trying to get to the parents’ seats. I tried my best to get emotional hugging people I became friends with. I didn’t feel any loss. I want to believe that I’m just shocked about the entire thing.

I went to Celadon’s year ender party. It was cool. Mattel, who was the only Celadon alumni I’m friends with, came, but only for some 30 minutes. The fashion show was dramatic! Never in my life have I beheld a model perfectly simulating a dead body with unblinking eyes. Oh, and someone got drunk. I wonder if he died that night. Luckily enough, I didn’t break his cocktail-bowl (oh, educate me). I wouldn’t have to worry about ghosts terrorizing me. Believe me, this is not mean.

Blue Roast took place the day before graduation- or was it Wednesday? It was okay, I guess. I was with a brat the entire time (kidding!). All the time I was trying my best to be friendly- I ate up most of the chocolates at home to prepare. It didn’t pay off at the end of the day though. It was a bit disappointing not to see people I’ve been closest with. Fireworks were fantastic and I even had my picture taken with Father Nebres though.

My social life- oh yes I used to have a healthy one- is definitely going down hill. The night out we’ve been organizing for my high school clique (oh, sue me) this Saturday is not going pretty at all. Confirmed attendance: 5. I tried joining a reading group- a social theories group- but I opted not to attend the first meeting earlier at 9 pm. Dorkiness is needed for nerdiness come this June. Besides, I want to feel not so stupid.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

near-grad happenings

Yes, I'm trying too sift out every bit of sense from the short while of my unemployed life. No, I'm not trying hard punishing myself for not getting "real" interviews or exams for any "real" job. Graduating peeps have this general principle that it's fabulous to bum around for the first few months. Bizarre if you ask me, but I'm jumping on the bandwagon for rationalization purposes. Going back to my initial musing, the universe was kind enough to provide humor despite the more obvious void:

Cool #1: Went to school yesterday to talk to DS chair. I was half expecting someone intimidating but, luckily, he was kind enough to hear my mind-numbing explanation as to why I’m taking another course. He concluded that I had to take it for a year and a half. Glad that’s over-I really have to work on eloquence. I remember the secretary half- smirking when I told her I was the kid who figured out what he really wants to do after 4 years of excruciating MIS “training”.

Cool #2: I got all my grades finally. It’s the first time that there’s not a C+! All were B’s except for Jap (A)! I was a bit disappointed in Philo though. My papers were really high except for the orals! The B’s in Theo and Decision Analysis were a bit surprising. I was expecting C+’s in both. Moving on…

Cool #2: After, I had dinner with Andz in The Old Spaghetti House. Pasta was yummy and the cheesecake yummier. We had to empty our pockets for that dinner. During the chit-chat, she told me it’s worse to talk about other peeps because doing so would mar the slightest sense of importance the two people have in the conversation. I had to agree. What’s more interesting than ourselves? We watched this old flick at her place- Orange Something? We concluded that it perfectly illustrated Foucault’s Discipline and Punish. Had to borrow her paper on History of Sexuality to refresh my grasp of Foucault more easily- coolness!

Cool #3 Bought two books afterwards: Hard-bound Lord of The Flies (rare!), and Eragon. Andz recommended the former. She told me it got her scared for humanity. I had to buy it! I have this impression that she’s one of those peeps who rarely allow ideas get to her. The latter is to satisfy my inner urchin. I had to slap myself after shopping.

Cool #4: Grabbed a coffee with Ka and Ken last Saturday- Ness was not available once again! We had the usual chit-chat about our plans and stuff. They told me they were joining the Amazing Race Asia version- I was like “what?” They have to submit a short video to apply. We are to shoot it come this Thursday. I’m supposed to prepare some witty lines for their dialogue. They prefer shoot the video while jogging. They have to pay me for this.

Cool #5: Watched Pride and Prejudice the afternoon before our coffee session (i.e. dibidi). Was the best classical novel movie adaptation I’ve watched. The English was complicated the way we read it in the novels. Neat! I didn’t expect Ms. Knightley to act very nicely. I love Lady Catherine!

Now, I can’t seem to read the Cosmos’s hidden message. I’m afraid I’m taking Ms. Zafra too literally. When irony gets the best of me, I tend to take it not as such. "The universe has a weird sense of humor", according to Ms. Zafra. Perhaps, experience makes sense when it doesn’t. I intend to be abducted by aliens to prove this otherwise. I’ve seen UFOs twice already so it’s not impossible.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

then what?

After all the orals, written exams and papers, which was supposed to be distributed through out a month but packed in one week, one is but expected to have some sort of tranquility and harmony with everything, la la la la la. It did not happen- and won't especially when you've tons of regrets about the final orals you had with you favorite Theo teacher. I sucked at the orals- terribly flunked! I realized how I could've answered moments before my time was up! It was something to do with Fundamental Option and Social Sin- an easy topic yet I forgot how I was supposed to deliver. Naturally I was so freakin' pissed getting out of Theo Dept- and more pissed seeing the stupid Benildean-turned-Atenean "friend", who kept insisting we didn't do any hard work in our capstone course (the much loved ITM course)- he had to rub his merit in my face.

If you're dense enough to follow me to this point, you'll see the title makes no connection to the first paragraph. What the? you ask. Thank you very much. What was that about? Anyway, I was so freakin' pissed, right? After that, I went straight to two of my best buds who were already watching Memoirs of Geisha at Ken's house (i.e. dibidi). The skanks didn't wait for me! Naturally, I lambasted them with my complaints and regrets about my substandard performance towards the conclusion of my college life.

Okay, I've nothing more to say about post-grad mushy shit. Cathartic musings about graduation have become so omnipresent since last Saturday that even YM status messages shout them- seniors, how pathetic have we become? Naturally, I was one of the emos who put up a similar messages. True enough, such musings may be so common they make us puke, but they're so true we can't escape them- Pabaon was all about such. Pabaon was a nice way of assuring seniors that there's something good down the hill. I was convinced, brainwashed, hypnotized, however you want to put it, with whatever they did in the program, especially Father Nebres's part- except the hour-long PowerPoint show by Guidance and Placement. The latter two tried to individualize us by announcing statistical shit about "our" personality. How about that? You just have to love them for attempting at irony.

Sarcasm aside, this is supposed to be a reflective entry- I've been using "profound" too much, thus the word. I forgot what I was being serious hours earlier. While I was tweaking some codes for my drop down menu (see under chronicles), I thought of something brilliant, but I can't remember it. I think it had something to do with my attempt to work/study after MIS. I haven't talked to the relevant people in school- be doing it tomorrow. Call center may prove to be the most lucrative part-time job there is- but I'm too proud to be take on the job. Shit, I need cash- must start independence right away.

I'm too literal to even make this look trivial. I'm not too lost now, thank God! I used to worry too much about post-grad scenario. I've finally realized that I was afraid only because I imagine it to be such. Must act. I'm trying to get into a few odd jobs just for the sake of experience. I'm not sure about most things anyway there's no point not trying.

...

After trying so hard to digress from post-grad musings, I end up with the same things. Just for a semi-sidetrack, I'd like to point out my profound indifference regarding the current "crisis" in Celadon. I have my opinions and I've signed a stupid survey. People are already frothing at the mouth about it. I shouldn't add any uneducated speculations. Celadon is a microcosm of Philippine society, where the "members" who "have a stake" at what's happening are but the people who make tambay at the celadon table and their galamays. Beat my conyo. Old enmities surfaced the way I like it- must solve through parliamentary means.

Okay, that was not a nice way of ending the ties I have with the org. Don't get me wrong, I love most of the people in there. I just don't like how some people point out the issue's relevance to their lives as though Celadon is some living entity- just like how politicians make use of "The Philippine Society" or the Common Good. Love the freakin' retards. Don't appeal to any abstract stuff, we know politics.

Friday, March 03, 2006

keana-isms!

I don't really watch Pinoy Big Brother. But with this, I'm definitely going to everyday- that is, after the hellish exams. I'm rooting for Keana Reeves! She's too smart for the other housemates- no sarcasm meant.

...

Keanna-isms on Celebrity Pinoy BigBrother
c/o Histrionics of a balding Drama King
www.illenberger.org

Keanna: "Di ko alam na pinag-uusapan ako kasi ba't naman ako nila paguusapan? di ko naman bertdey"
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Keanna: "Andami kong pimples wala kasing moisturizer eh"
Rico: "Ano ?"
Keanna: " Bakukang..andami kong bakukang (pertaining to her pimples)"
Rico: " Anong bakukang?"
Keanna: "Insekto... (tapos sabay hipo sa mukha niya)"
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Keanna" "Buti na lang pinaligo na tayo, akala ko kasi sa Sabado papuwedeng maligo. Paano kaya sila matutulog non?"

( now, i dont get this. tayo tapos sila?)
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Keanna to Koya: (About not taking bath) Pakiramdam ko po kasi hindina ako FRESH. __________________________________________________

Keanna: "Rustrum!!"
Roxie: "Rustom hindi Rustrum!"
Keanna: *deadma mode* "pakealam mo? mayaman ako sa letter R!"
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Some excerpts from Pinoy Big Brother and Keanna Reeves. You can just love her for being herself.
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Keanna: (habang nagwawalis) "Hindi ako makatulog na madumi ang bahaykasi. Tapos mahilig pa kayong magkape. Gusto ko tuloy kayong paluin"
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Keanna: Ang hirap kaya mag-dishwasher
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Keanna ay nagpa-fashion show sa harap ng mga housemates habang
nagpo-pose (Keanna): "Dapat pala ay mag-pouch ako"
Housemates: "Pout hindi pouch (tapos halakhakan)"
Keanna: "Eh ano yung pouch past tense"
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RULE: Bawal galawin ang furnitures ng wala akong pahintulot
Keanna: edi bawal pala gamitin yung rocking chair? kasi gagalaw yun
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Keanna: "John Prats! John Prats! Kunin mo nga yung chicken."
(hahhahahahh! Full name talaga? )
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Keanna: (from the rule book) si big bra.. brother ang magbibigay sainyo ng mga kakailanganing gamit...(thinks)... e bat di natin makitaung kamay nibig bradir eh sya pla magbibigay (sabay tawa sila..)
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ZANJOE: Yung kapatid ko ZANDRO...
KEANNA: Lahat kayo start sa 'S'?
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Keanna: "Ay naku wala na pag-asa tayo mag-modern times. Ito pa dinang toothbrush...Talagang back to BISIKS tayo!"
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Keanna - "Streppers ako" (stripper)
...

What the?! Hehe! I'm not laughing because of her idiocy but her humour! I know the two aren't really mutually exclusive, but I prefer thinking that she's smarter than most of them thus the humor. I'm not so much for cerebral or nerdy jokes anyway- too overrated for me. Luv her!