Second week of the last sem. It's as if that's a lot days into the sem already. We're nearing graduation- that is, hopefully. It's something to look forward to and to dread. While most blogs of seniors highlight the meaningful friendships they have had in college, mine exudes a tinge of bitterness. It's not as if I never enjoyed college, it's just that I never got to feel the same high with friends. I guess it's just different from high school. Here, bonds tend be loose. Nonetheless, there are those exceptional friends to keep- and I'm totally grateful. There, my share of "cathartic" musings concerning the senior's syndrome- Ais says it has something to do with feeling good with every person you get to be with. I'm trying to do exactly that. It's not just about love life by the by.
It's almost thursday. Hours from now will be the quiz for Theo- quite antsy about it actually but I still haven't reviewed my notes! I call this productive procrastination- nice! I'll start in half an hour. We had a recitation on history yesterday- and I didn't read for it! Luckily, it turned out to be an open recit- was totally relieved. Got four chapters to munch for tomorow in that course.
Got trouble about my ACP! I really want to go to subic despite my friends' desertion! But I can't because we're about to have our immersion this friday as well. Ugh! I want to go to subic! I can, of course, opt not to go to my immersion, but then I'd miss out on a lot. Please move the date for immersion! I'm quite afraid about the immersion thing. I don't know if I can really live with the poor. I know I want to- to know their plight, to know their lives, to learn from them- but I don't feel comfortable at all to get out of my comfort zone. Need some serious preparations.
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How do you write about something without having an idea of it? Probably I'll ask this question on friday. Because if the answer is no, that is having no idea at all, then how do you even get to acknowledge the problem? Right? I get the point that it all boils down to experience, but experiences itself is not captured, thus the necessity of ideas to talk about. Well, ideas in this sense point to experience- this is what's important I guess. What I'm trying to get to is that a person's positive use of his freedom is first an acknowledgement of something. Oh, this is about death. I'm not trying to sound mysterious. I have enough attention already. Thank you very much.
What people need now is liberation theology. Lot's of experts trying to marry the world with social concerns. Why don't they try to change these structures instead? I'm not taking out the fact that, maybe by marrying the two, they may change the structures. But is this kind of development enough? It is still subjected to greed- maybe that's what bugs me. Maybe that's the most difficult thing to remove. Niether am I taking out the value of agency here. Heh! I'm so convinced about the aim of this course! Hopefully I can overcome this romanticism about it. It doesn't help in producing brilliance.
Rizal was shot dead despite his dissension to Bonifacio's revolution. He's our national hero. Going beyond sarcasm, maybe there's other reasons why he's such. Another thing, elections have never been orderly in the Philippines. Tejeros convention. Losers always complain. Even in college, this kind of mentality exists. Some even run for positions of authority after losing anelection. Pathetic losers. The republic formed by Aguinaldo killed Bonifacio. This is the birth of our beautiful republic. Going beyond pessimism and skepticism, we are next in line- we better fix things up.
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Got to watch Goblet of Fire last saturday. It was not at all that great vompared to the last three movies! A lot of important details weren't included! Peeps argue that taking out some details was necessary in making the movie- because of limits. But some character development necessary for the next movie wasn't included! Even Fudge and Dumbledore's disagreement wasn't shown! Ugh! And, only one dragon?! Percy's obssession with the ministry? Ludo Bagman?! And I swear, the quidditch world cup was less than a minute! Even Moody's sort of mentorship was not developed properly. They fixed everything up in the dialogues. Ugh, even Fleur and Viktor didn't have proper sentences to deliver. I probably have lots of peeps agreeing with this. It's Harry Potter so I still like it.
I was out with Ka and Ken last saturday! Was really tiring having the entire afternoon at school, night at the theaters and a friend's house, and the first three hours of morning in a cafe and a park. I was out until 3 am of sunday. Get me a real life.
Oh, the title is not related to the entry at all. It was the prevalent feeling I had hours ago. I recommned it to anyone feeling lost. Heh!