grades and the future

I got my grades Monday. While everyone was antsy whether they got grades beyond B's, I was preoccupied with suicidal thoughts and worries on where to transfer. I was thinking worst-case scenarios, which is classic coming from me. Luckily, I got my usual grades. They're in my usual range, decent enough range. I was surprised to see that I actually passed all of the courses I took that sem. And that I didn't get a single D! I really thought I failed two courses in sum. I'm formally a C+ student. I know that this sucks but I do feel relieved.

I didn't get to study a lot last semester, specially for this one major course that disgusts me. A friend called it abominable, and I couldn't agree more, I'm a bit upset about Ethics class though. If only I got to submit the final paper in time, I could've gotten a B+. I still recommend Sir David though. He's really brilliant, a bit repetitive but brilliant. I'm actually planning to buy two of Foucault's books despite their exorbitant prices.

Tomorrow's reg for the second semester. I'm begging the universe to please give me the right teachers. I don't want another Rosana or Dacanay for my core subjects. I really don't perform well under strict by-rote intellectualism or super lame lectures!

Ugh, I used the word "perform". I hate that. People, especially in our favorite panoptical institution (i.e. the school), tend to equate individuals to efficiency. Is that really all we get to be thought of? There's no denying though that after we exit school, the world judge us through efficiency. We are things traded by those in higher circles of power in this society. Then again this is may be a self-imposed problem. Legitimizing a particular world that we are only about to enter is a bit of a premature schizophrenia.

Anyway, nothing really has caught my attention lately. No movies or books to obsess about. The most exciting aspect of the sembreak was hanging out with friends and reading the newspaper. You wouldn't believe how much I read the daily. I read everything from the front page to the editorial and opinions! I can't do these things on a regular semester. Nothing's been too amazing lately- no ups and downs. Just limbo. Oh wait! There's one, my sister left for Canada and that we made peace before she left- but that's a month ago.

And I remember another one. A semi-awesome and frightening thing that's been happening to our apartment is that my mom is slowly emptying the house, leaving behind just my stuff! I was surprised to see our big cabinet half empty! My sis and I used to share it. The half empty cabinet still freaks me out.

And oh! Someone texted me to activate my alumni membership! My God! Are you people that excited to kick us out of our beloved school? It seems as if various forces are conspiring, forcing me to grow up. I already told you that I'm prepared but can't you slow everything down even for a bit?

...

Now, in terms of frustrations form other worldy stuff, we need relief! Speaking of relief, Goblet of Fire is up next week! Eeek! I'm too excited seeing previews of the flick in almost all channels! Waah! I'm thinking about watching it wednesday night- the premiere night! I'm thinking about watching it twice actually! Saturday will definitely be a day with my high school gang! Wahaha! I'm super excited! This is a relief from the boredom I experienced through out the sem break. Hehe!