Friday, November 11, 2005

lila / lyla

This final semester seems to promise a good end for my college life. I'm taking intermediate Nihonggo, a good teacher in Philo or Religion (i.e. Miguel De Jesus) and Theo (Si Bobby Guev!). And yes, another history class. I like history. About Nihonggo, I'm still thinking about shifting out. Seniors will end this sem early. I'm think that it won't be worth it if the teacher will give us heavier load since we're ending earlier. About philo, I heard he has his quizzes every week. I wonder if I can deal with that properly. There's a lot to doubts about this sem and I can't change most of my courses too easily. Hehe!

Anyway, Goblet of fire!!! Right now I'm reading through stuff in the net about the film: interviews, behind the scenes and all other stuff. I'm definitely watching it next weekend, And! I'm rereading Goblet of Fire! Other flicks to look forward to are The Legend of Zorro, Memoirs of Geisha, Chronicles of Narnia, and Chicken Little! I need to hoard up monies to finance my trips to the movies.

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Read through this entry or google it to find the title's meaning. I think it's something like "world-illusion" in Mayan beliefs or Hindu. Better yet, listen to Oasis's song Lyla- I think it's somehow related to this word. It's definitely a wow for the band if they intended such connection.

It's one of those days when I feel this weird nauseous feeling. It's not that I want to physically puke, being disgusted at things I see. It's more like a psychological desire to dismiss everything I see. The feeling's kind of related to boredom but it's more than that. It's more like everything seems too much on their own. It's when the world seems to perform a weird show. You notice it and you feel that you're part of it. And then you feel weird, thinking "what then?" after your behold this weirdness.

Now, convince me that this is normal. Does anyone have a proper word for it?

If you happen to encounter anything like this, I recommend that you immediately get a nice book, sit down somewhere comfy then read read read. This practice works for me whenever I get it. Retching about whether physically or mentally won't help. And it's mentally disturbing. I mean, I tried doing it a couple of times- regretting it twice after seeing my face all red and my eyes popping out.

I don't think anyone's given a proper term for this phenomenon. So, I hereby name it lila, something akin to mind-fuck. Hehe! What's bothering me is that I get to feel a separation from the "show" the illusion despite me being part of it. I'm thinking the gods may just be part of this lila after all. Don't they have that same syndrome?

That feeling which seems to point out that people are doing what they are supposed to do- and that I don't want to be part of this play. But I am anyway. That's Lila. In the song, the world around us make me feel so small. Lyla, if you can't hear me call, then what do you say? Maybe the antithesis to Lila is Lyla. One will have to point out the phenomenon.

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