I'm having a hard time figuring out the lecture we had in Theo last thursday. It had something to do measuring one's worth; that we are who we are in the eyes of God. I just can't seem to really believe this. I want to believe it and really think of myself under such definiton but something in me doesn't seem to acknowledge it. I mean, isn't it through other people that we get the idea of our worth? I guess having a short time to live leaves us looking for something more palpable that will somehow describe our lives in the eleventh hour. That means people- love- right? But that also means endless struggle to be something- of worth. Maybe my confusion is brought about by my faith- probably it's not that strong. How does one acknowledge this reality- well, a reality if you're a believer?
Given that genuine faith does bring about this component of belief to you- that you really hold it true etc, how do you now measure- or even do- your actions? What do we do after really believing this? Surely, by holding it's opposite to be true, we strive to become for other people- and that realy makes sense right? If it happens that I find myself believing such, won't I be dormant and leave everything be- I mean if my only goal in this earth (I'm speaking for myself) is to have some sort of worth? Maybe this is an invalid conclusion since I'm posing a possibility of something not from my experience- that of having this kind of faith. I'm not taking out, of course, the possibility that the believer's action may be toward other people, and not of making sense of his own life- or better, glory; that his action is a movement of God already. In this case his action still makes sense because of the faith's movement.
Maybe this concept is central to my problem. Is the goal ultimately for our own legends or is it a component of God's theme for our (collective) lives? If you follow to this point, a last question: can we ever find that elusive experience of our worth if our movement is that of a former kind I stated above? Maybe the answer to this is also the solution to my original question- perhaps it can answer how to look at one's life through the eyes of God.
4 comments:
The question is, do you believe in God in the first place? I mean, do you have faith, and I mean faith faith? Because if you do, I don't think you would be asking these many questions, trying to figure this out logically.
It really sucks being in a Jesuit school sometimes, huh?
Yes, I guess I end up with that question. It's the cause of my rationalizing and its end- neat!
Lol. Didn't really get that last part.
On another note: if I made a nice, matrix-y layout for you, but with BIG fonts, will you use it? :D
Hehe! It's kind of an inside joke anyway. About the matrix layout, sure! Depends though- baka hindi ako eh!
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