still growing up

Last two weeks were the most hellish weeks of all hell weeks I've ever had in my entire college life! It would take me 2 whole days to recount every sordid detail. And It would probably be mortifying anyway when I get to read this months from now.

Aside from the usual tons of school work, I kept having my occasional emotional breakdowns. Oh shut up! I'm dealing with it quite okay lately. I think listening to music really helps. I've been listening to new songs for the past 5 days to lighten the mood. And yes I can play however loud I want to since sister is not studying anything anymore. I finally found another remedy for heartbreaks aside from chocolates. *slaps himself suddenly*

Anyway, let's continue trudging. Perhaps that's the proper word for what I'm feeling. I'm hoping for a good ending. So I better pay attention so everything will not end in heartaches and broken promises. It really feels like I only half-want what I was aiming for. Is it an imagined glory or perhaps a true dream? I really don't know.

I will be living alone in a week's time. I'm quite excited but also afraid. Sister is leaving for Canada, while mother and father will go back again to Taiwan, and Manang to our house in Nova. This is all going too fast. But maybe it's necessary for my growth. This is it, I'm really about to enter adult life. I need to learn some more lessons fast. I really need some help from up there. I can't imagine coming home from school or work only to be greeted by silence and still air. I've been thinking a lot about this.

...

And no this entry doesn't come down to the paragraph above. Yesterday, we had our last ISA class with Mr. Maguyon. I really appreciate his warm parting remarks. I never thought CS teachers were capable of warmth, let alone communicating their feelings. Nah, just kidding. We're going to miss him definitely. He's forming this club for public speaking next semester I think. I just thought about doodling about it. I guess the gesture just reminded me of how teachers are really mentors. I miss my favorite high school teacher.