Thursday, November 22, 2007

almost in "the real world"

Okay. That was a bit more than two months of no blogging. And lots have happened since my last update: the ZTE scandal, Erap getting the executive clemency, the Glorietta explosion, bombing of the house of representative, etc... Yes, it sucks that despite all those creeping, seemingly vast and encompassing events (if you're a Pinoy), I find myself detached, trapped in this middle class drama of finding my way in the world (i.e. my life as of the moment). I mean the gore, the politics, the deaths and suffering. And that doesn't even in anyway paint the bigger picture- if there's even such a thing. It seems unfair. Anyway, I guess we've no choice but mark our own place in this bleak and random universe, maybe necessarily oblivious to all those things in the background. There's no 'The Story' afterall. Anyway.

I was actually hoping to get my thesis done before making another entry. That way, I thought, I could finally bash the school and its stupid teachers. Maybe a few, especially those entirely inisipid and self-absorbed ones. Nah. Just kidding. I even worship a few of them actually. Maybe a couple of jesuits and a teacher. Lol. Truth be told, I will miss that school, despite all those years distancing myself from its image (and you won't believe the amount of elitism and vain glory its students attach to themselves). Sure, I have not done my best most of the time, I may have spent months and months brooding about how college had been unbecoming of me, I may have spent most of the time procrastinating because of fucked-up courses and uninspiring teachers, but I really really learned a lot. So. Right. I will miss it. Okay, that's entirely right. Technically I'm still not done because of that thesis (yes, it's "that thesis" from now on because I've spent tons of energies writing it and it's still not sufficient, I just want to compile it and give it to ACED).

Yeah, there's no point in this entry afterall. Nothing has marked any "next page", "next chapter", or next-whatnot in my life. Not that I'm complaining or ungrateful but I'm still in this semi-limbo, excited and terrified in ending my college life, afraid that I might not like what I have planned for myself. This awful sense of foreboding and finality is flooding my nerves. Uck. Luckily, there's still some things to look forward to. One of those is The Golden Compass. lol. I've reread the book last week. I'm on Subtle Knife right now. The movie should live up to Pullman's talent. Damn New Line. I heard the director was forced to remove those anti-religious overtones...