Today is an important day for this day reminds me how I'm up for the show when "speaking my thoughts" more than actually sharing knowledge. It's almost disgusting actually, but, of course, intially I was all defensive- on how I only interchanged GDP per capita to income compared to the poverty line. Now that might have been the case but, still, I wasn't thinking properly because I was all hyped to recite. I wasn't thinking properly at all. I just wanted to talk, thereby making the juniors laugh their guts out and letting the teacher down- because he taught the very exact same concept last sem. The Teach made it a point to stress how disappointed he was with the answer. It was humiliating, to say the very least.
Maybe I'm thinking more of the show rather than content of every supposedly intellectual diarrhea. Maybe that's the reason why I can't even inform my HS friends about concepts of development- err, substantially. Maybe I don't have enything to articulate, and I just want to seem like I know stuff! Maybe I feel bad not because I can't seem to say everything properly but because I don't appear as if I know stuff!
I don't know why I'm feeling really down lately. It's probably because my saturday sessions in payatas are not working out the way I envisioned them. Add to that my desperate efforts to try to belong to college- with all my faculties wanting to get out of it already, the added stress produced by drama people around me, two boring classes... Must focus. Must regain career mode.
1 comment:
Ah, career mode. Education has spurned you yet again? Maybe you're just trying too hard (and I'm not saying where specifically at). Don't try to rethink anything now, maybe just remember why you're there now in the first place and how you used to feel in the beginning.
I am so corny. Hahahah.
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