of caffeine and watermelons

I'm not really into parading sappy stuff about my life, but this really is a good outlet to feel, somehow, at ease. I hope this isn't the result of chocolate overdose; I have this notion that you're bound to be down down down when you're so up yesterday. Hell no, I ate half a watermelon yesterday not tons of chocolates. I don't think watermelons have caffeine. Plus, I've been downloading really cathartic songs. Really bad combination...

I really think these sentiments aren't worth brooding about. I mean, look at the world! Seriously, people with life coaches should rethink their priorities. But still, I need some sort of channel to free myself of this worthless worries.

This is it for my high school friends. I really feel like we're really really parting- the closest people drifting away. It this "letting go, moving forward" shit that I'm weakest in- I never even experienced real college life until third year because of some unnecessary baggage from high school. There's four of my closest friends, one went to Indonesia, another preparing for Qatar, another one I barely get to talk to, and the last one's working already. The fact that I'm living alone only makes things worse: they're the only ones that make this "living alone" quite enjoyable, even "sustaining" that empty part of my existence. I mean when I say "life", they're in the picture that makes my life somehow colorful to look at. Okay, maybe these may even be hyperbole but I can't take severing old friendships. I can't quite build the same relationship with new people.

I can't imagine how my Mom felt when my sister left for Canada; I can almost imagine how I would be when my friends finally leave. I remember talking my way out of high school drama. I know there's a lot of other more significant things to do with life, but parting really makes these "better things" suck. I'm not good at it. Yes, I think I am making the same departure. But what I'm aiming at seems void of meaning without people who can sustain me. This is what I fear.

No, I won't end with some stupid maxim for once. I'm not sure where this is all going to lead anyway. Eating watermelon late at night is bad. Also, Chocolates and mushy songs don't go together. This is all I must say.