Eight am tomorrow will be another day at work. It's quarter to midnight now and I'm packing for Tuesday trip/work to Jomalig, Quezon, An island South East of Manila). The stay will last for four days and three nights. Tomorrow Munday after work will be spent at a dorm somewhere in campus (QC). The bosses said that this would be easier than staying at home (Manila) since call time on tuesday is four am. Crap. Dorm is something weird- sleeping outside home is never comfortable. And, even worse, is the trip that will last for eight hours. Four hours on the van and four hours on boat. Uck.
On a positive note, Coral reefs! I am going to the beach after more than a decade! I'm excited. Plus, K will be at work tomorrow. She's another intern/volunteer (I'm not sure what we're formally called). I won't feel weird anymore. The interview with people of Bantay Dagat (Marine Watch) is also something to look forward to. But, I'm still a bit wary about my detachable arm and food come Tuesday. I'm not brave about these things.
Okay, I shall continue packing stuff now. I'm awful at these things. I always end up bringing more than what's necessary. Wish me luck!
"Identity myth" because the author of this blog refuses to partake in the quest for acquiring any sense of certainty when it comes to knowing ourselves, how we figure in the bigger scheme of things, and all the nut crap about purpose and "who we really are". The author hopes that his words allude to this myth, which everybody else is after, whether they know it or not.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
ultra relieved!
So the grades came out yesterday. Mine averaged at 3.0, not including the part one of my thesis course, which is * (will work on it this summer). I felt ultra relieved. After November's depress-depressan incident, a cascade of mishaps followed: the fake wars with groupmates, ego-deflating incidents, frequent 20-minute lates every 730 class, etc. etc. I thought this sem's grade would ultimately reflect my failure to gear up. So this is more than ok. And, since I didn't work my ass off this semester- possibly because of the depression from the stupid 0.05 missing last 1st semester (in addition to the ones mentioned above)- I feel great!
(This is getting frustrating. I'm not really a grade conscious person, who thinks that A's should define the good student, etc. etc. No, I'm not that. But the world thinks that way, and I'm playing its game. I might as well subject myself to this rather damaging environment to get what I'm really after.)
But more importantly, I got a B in his class! And, that's a bit rare, well, less rarer that an A or a B+, but still rare- I worked my ass off last last semester and he only gave me a C+! I couldn't believe The B at first, so I cross-checked between his records and mine. They matched! I was so happy! The class only had seven people who got C+'s or higher, one A and one or two B+'s and then two B's I think. He's really strict, which is both cool and irritating ( A classmate late afternoon yesterday ontimated how one of his essays were marked "yours ideas can't go further"). I mean, I both look up to and detest him, so I'm glad I'm 'technically' good in his class.
(This is getting frustrating. I'm not really a grade conscious person, who thinks that A's should define the good student, etc. etc. No, I'm not that. But the world thinks that way, and I'm playing its game. I might as well subject myself to this rather damaging environment to get what I'm really after.)
But more importantly, I got a B in his class! And, that's a bit rare, well, less rarer that an A or a B+, but still rare- I worked my ass off last last semester and he only gave me a C+! I couldn't believe The B at first, so I cross-checked between his records and mine. They matched! I was so happy! The class only had seven people who got C+'s or higher, one A and one or two B+'s and then two B's I think. He's really strict, which is both cool and irritating ( A classmate late afternoon yesterday ontimated how one of his essays were marked "yours ideas can't go further"). I mean, I both look up to and detest him, so I'm glad I'm 'technically' good in his class.
Monday, April 09, 2007
emotional lapses
After what seemed like an eternity, I finally got a hold of a friend to spill my brains to. Actually, it turned out more like me blabbering all the inanities I had been brooding about last week. Add to that additional drama, of stories of break-ups (Not mine of course, not that I have to mention this of course.), myths of the good son and daughter, and, of course, my extroverted introverted second guessing- of myself! We even got to a sort of Maalaala Mo Kaya moment at the Starbucks(!) near Binondo Church. I mean, how un-telenovela-ish right? It could have been somewhere more dramatic- like in her dining room in front of her parents (just kidding Ka! hehe!). It was frustrating and fun, which proved a good combination during the long long conversation.
But I still lack company. I mean, I have a lot of things I've been brooding about without anyone to share them to. Okay, they may not necesarily contribute to bringing about world peace but they may be worth people hearing them- to confirm that I am indeed sane. Okay, I'm desperate. This pseudo-journal (i.e. blog) is really an outlet for such thoughts, but I can't divulge everything here because I'd feel like I'm writing for a show. When I talk to people I really really value or look up to, I feel like I'm confirming my ideas, thereby making me rethink them by actually getting responses. Books and writing are too limited for me, but I'm definitely not ruling out that some thoughts or sentimentalities can only be resolved through such media.
Phonecalls are too restricting (not to mention that my ears hurt after 30 mins of usage) and YM's odd. Hopefully, I'd get to have more chitchats this week. I'll be in school on thursday, hopefully I'll see my fave peeps (please, please don't let the witches bump into me). I also sort of scheduled meeting Om, Ka, Mariel, and Andz. Weird. I seem less thrilled about talking now that I've written about my excitement. Oh well, maybe I'm just excied about this week.
But I still lack company. I mean, I have a lot of things I've been brooding about without anyone to share them to. Okay, they may not necesarily contribute to bringing about world peace but they may be worth people hearing them- to confirm that I am indeed sane. Okay, I'm desperate. This pseudo-journal (i.e. blog) is really an outlet for such thoughts, but I can't divulge everything here because I'd feel like I'm writing for a show. When I talk to people I really really value or look up to, I feel like I'm confirming my ideas, thereby making me rethink them by actually getting responses. Books and writing are too limited for me, but I'm definitely not ruling out that some thoughts or sentimentalities can only be resolved through such media.
Phonecalls are too restricting (not to mention that my ears hurt after 30 mins of usage) and YM's odd. Hopefully, I'd get to have more chitchats this week. I'll be in school on thursday, hopefully I'll see my fave peeps (please, please don't let the witches bump into me). I also sort of scheduled meeting Om, Ka, Mariel, and Andz. Weird. I seem less thrilled about talking now that I've written about my excitement. Oh well, maybe I'm just excied about this week.
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